


Never had a heart to mend

by ChaoticHeroine



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 18:35:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11629473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticHeroine/pseuds/ChaoticHeroine
Summary: Rachel Duncan has been used her entire life. Just another cog in the project Leda machine. Some musings on this.





	Never had a heart to mend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [piggy09](https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/gifts).



779h41 She was simply a naive girl when Aldous told her that she was special. What little girl wouldn't blindly believe every word from the mouth of the only father she ever truly knew? Special. Unique. Privileged. Different from the others. She trusted him.

She was ignorant enough to believe he was proud of her as he paraded her in front of executives, multinationalists and businessmen. She felt a swell of pride even. Of course she didn't realize she was being shown like a prized showpiece, so she dutifully played her part, parroting her tag number and impressing the suitclad robots that were in front of her.

779h41

_779h41_

779h41

She could never truly reconcile how she could be so different, so _special_ , and still have this tag just like any of the others. And so that number shaped her identity. It was the intangible proof that she was just another experiment.

Percival stroked her ego. He told her she was special, and blinded by pride, she believed him. He told her she was his daughter. He promised her freedom. He promised to give her autonomy. He told her that she wouldn't have to be known by a tag any longer.

779h41.

She wouldn't be that _subject_  any longer. Never again tied to that identity that had been thrust upon her by men in suits and people in lab coats.

She once again felt betrayed when she realized that she was again being used. Her empty longing for affection once again misplaced and abused by a man who saw her as his experiment. His property. He would have never given her autonomy. She didn't even have _privacy_.

She was Project Leda.

 _779h41_.

Rachel swirled the gin in her mouth, feeling the sting of it and the warmth that traveled down her throat. The heat in her belly a mix of alcohol and bitterness as she plotted her next move. She looked at her computer, Kira Manning's file on the computer. She couldn't help but see herself in the girl. Not because of the genetic ties that they shared, or even the bond she felt as Kira offered her the friendship bracelet she currently twirled on her wrist.

She saw herself because Kira was just another experiment of PT, of Neolution, of DYAD.

Only this time she was the one holding the hand of a scared little girl telling her she was special, and parading her in front of a room of men in suits.

She poured another drink and grabbed the bottle as she left her office. Trying to numb the pain as she realized she'd became the very monsters that used her.

She was once again the naive little girl as Kira posed the question. "Who hurt you?"

And she simply answered,

"All of them." ---

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is for the lovely piggy09. And the title is from "Starring Role" by Marina and the Diamonds.


End file.
